My Last Dramatic Performance

So in the last play I was in I cussed in front of the whole church.

It was maybe 6th grade or so and Desi and I and a few other friends got stuck in an "outreach" drama play musical thing called "Crisis at the Crossroads". It was through some community theater group and we would go to various churches and youth groups to perform. Now I am naturally not a performer. I'm not now and I really wasn't then. I'm not sure why I was involved in this other than because I was a follower and Desi was doing it. Anyway, the setting of the play is at the gates of Heaven. Saint Peter sits there with Guard Angels around him and various people walk up and try to gain entrance into Heaven. I was a Guard Angel (which was ironic considering the Guard Angels were supposed to be tough and I was the skinniest one there and it probably looked kinda funny to see a kid with Gandhi arms sticking out from the billowy white robe trying to be tough). So I was a Guard Angel. Desi was a rich man who approaches the gates with his trophy wife and daughter and offers Peter money to get in. I think he actually said "look at me, I'm loaded" as he holds up a wad of cash. He doesn't get in and I forcefully lead him off stage to Hell. So anyway at the end of the play the other Guard Angel and I would dramatically quote some verses from Revelation and the lights would dim. On this particular day we were performing at a local churches special all-day Saturday "we're gonna take this valley for Christ so we need to get the kids pumped up with drama and music" youth jamboree spectacular revival things. You know, where the kids come in and listen to music and special guests and get worked into an emotional frenzy and then make pledges that will never be kept but it makes the adults feel good about doing something for the Kingdom. One of those things. Anyway, shortly before we are to perform I find out that the other Guard Angel is sick and that now I not only have to dramatically quote my verse but then his verse too! Now this wouldn't have been a problem had I a little time to memorize the line. But no, we're on in 10 minutes. So everything goes fine with the play. Desi still ends up in Hell but we get to hear an excellent Christianized version of Whitney Houston's "The Greatest Love Of All". Now it's my turn. I say my own line without a problem. I pause. I began his line. I get maybe 4 words into it. My mind goes blank. Completely blank. And what's the only thing I have the presence of mind to say into the microphone in front of God and those eager youth? "Oh crap''. Yep, I said the word "crap" from the pulpit. Can it get any worse? I obviously was very embarrassed but I didn't realize the gravity of the situation until after the play was over and the director came up to me and said these exact words: "Tim, I didn't know you cussed". I didn't know I did either. But she told me I did and she also gave me the distinct impression that I completely ruined the entire play with my faux pau. The souls that had planned on getting saved that afternoon were now lost... So, I'm pretty sure that was the last time I was in a play. Not that plays are bad. If there is anyone out there who is currently in a play I'm sure you'll do fine : ) My only bit of advice for you is this: if you happen to forget a line, don't say crap.